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10 ways to send a truly awful marketing email

If you’re one of those marketers that doesn’t really care if anyone reads your emails, then you’ll be pleased to know that it doesn’t take much effort to land your email in a recipient’s spam folder. If you don’t want your emails to drive online traffic, create new leads and benefit your business, these 10 tips will help make your emails next to useless.

Make your subject line pointless

People won’t open an email if it has a boring or irrelevant subject line.

If you change your mind and do want recipients to, you know, actually read your emails, create a subject line that is engaging and relevant to them. You want to make it clear why your readers should open your email.

Use info@ or reply@ as your mailing address

Way to make your email seem impersonal and as if it has come from a robot!

However, if you want to build a relationship with your subscribers, send the email from a real person. They’ll be more likely to open the email if there is a ‘face’ to your brand.

Don’t personalize anything

Make your subscribers feel like they’re members of a massive email marketing list by not including any personal details. That will really make them want to read your email!

If you want to catch their attention, use their contact data to create something warmer and more personalized.

Send emails to your entire email list

Don’t worry about segmenting your data or targeting your messaging. Why not just send everyone everything, regardless of whether or not it is relevant to them?

If, however, you have some common sense, take the time to segment your data and send emails that cater specifically to that market.

Write something really boring in one paragraph

People get mountains of emails every day and don’t have the time to read everything in detail, so go that extra mile by waffling on about useless information and make the content as hard to read as possible.

Of course, you could keep the content short and to the point, use formatting devices like bullet points and break up the content so it is easy to read. That is, if you’ve now decided that you want people to read your emails?

Don’t proofread the content

Nothing says ‘This email was written by an amateur” than having lots of spelling and grammatical errors in the message body. If you want your readers to rapidly lose respect or trust, just type quickly and press “Send“.

Alternatively, you could keep your writing tidy and make sure you thoroughly check the copy. You could even get a coworker to read over it for you.

Ignore adding a call-to-action

If you don’t want your subscribers to do anything with the email they receive, then make it is unclear as possible what they have to do next. That is guaranteed to not turn any subscriber into a lead, so you could include a very clear call-to-action and make it obvious what you want them to do.

Leave out social media links

Why would you possibly want your subscribers to forward your content onto other potential subscribers on social media? Oh, you do want to to do this? Then, take the extra step of asking recipients to share your content on social media or forward it on to a friend. After all, you might end up growing your email list, attract more readers and gain additional site traffic.

Don’t include an unsubscribe link

Want to frustrate all your readers and break laws like CAN-SPAM or CASL? Don’t add an unsubscribe link to any email you send. A potential $1 million fine is nothing to worry about after all.

You could, though, follow email best practices and the law by placing a simple unsubscribe link at the bottom of any message you send.

Forget about mobile devices

Over 50% of your readers will read your emails on a mobile device. If you only format your email for desktops, forget about any mobile users reading your content. It’s too irritating to have to zoom and scroll wildly to find out what your email is actually about.

It makes more sense to try and capture the attention of your mobile audience in order to convert them into leads. That involves optimizing every email you send for mobile devices in order to get their attention.

If you want your email marketing to work, you need to make sure that you focus on audience engagement and lead conversion. Before you send any email, go through these steps again and see if your message is something that your readers will want to read so you can actually achieve your marketing goals.